Thursday 9th November
Early morning. Had lovely evening with Phil - did lots of talking towards the end: didn't get home 'till 1:20! (which is late these days) Actually made an attempt at one point to feel what I used to feel when I thought about the concept of nonexistence - I was trying to explain to Phil why the idea was so unbearably awful. And I did feel it to some extent, and all I can say is, however much I tend to feel I suffer these days, it's nothing to what I went through between ages 10 and 17, and I'm really glad God saved me from it. I am totally convinced that everything about me depends on my faith, the faith that God suddenly gave me one day. And I'm blinkin' glad he did.