It's amazing how time seems to fly by at the moment - probably somewhat lacking in division points (holidays and suchlike). Am learning Java now, having learned JavaScript to a not unacceptable standard. I don't go out much anymore - I basically speak to Phil & Jennie and Cat a lot, e-mail Caroline now and then, and hang out with Gary on Friday and Sunday evenings. Sometimes do a social thing on Saturdays, too. Not that I'm minding most of the time, which is possibly a bad thing - I think I perhaps enjoy learning too much.
Got worship practise tonight - Sheila's supposed to be having a chat with me, presumably about my turning up incredibly late on Sunday morning. I overslept, and much fun and frolics ensued! Basically it was decided that I shouldn't play, not having prayed with the others and having arrived about two minutes before kick-off. I really didn't feel up to sitting in the congregation (I felt like people would be staring at me, and concluded that my continued presence would be a distraction from God for all concerned - especially myself). Not that I'd object to stepping down with some warning, but after being forced to drag a whole heap of equipment there in a rush, and walk in that late, straight to the front, I'd already had a pretty unpleasant experience! I don't know, just felt it would be wiser to go for a drive and pray and stuff - asked permission first, too! Did play in the evening, anyway...
So I'll just have to see what she says - not worried or anything. For one thing, being kicked out of the worship group would probably improve my quality of life (Tuesday nights free!) and, more importantly, God is in control anyway. He said I'm a worship leader, and I really couldn't care less what anyone else thinks on the issue. As if worship leading was just about singing on a stage anyway!
Ho hum. Hope that didn't sound against anyone or anything - pretty much recording my feelings, which aren't always very good ones. I do try, though! Tend to feel a bit pressured at church really, 'cause it seems to be heading for health-and-wealther territory, which to the best of my understanding is pretty much against the word of God - the wealth bit, that is! Or maybe I just feel that it leads people that way? Not sure, but I am sure there's something badly wrong with it somewhere! (Apologies to my health-and-wealth friends, who are probably better Christians, and certainly better people, than I am!)
Paused here for dinner - not sure what I've written, but I'll put it up anyway!