So the new year has started, and Christmas is getting close to being officially over. I'm at work tomorrow, at least! I kinda started the holidays wondering whether I'd be desperately wanting to leave the county again by the time they'd finished. As it happens, something different has happened. To try and get through the new year's eve praise concert I spent about an hour praying and reading my bible - spent it exclusively with God, basically. This seemed to turn me around completely, and I had a pretty good time, although I still left sharpish at the end, so it's not like a total cure or anything. Nevertheless, I've decided to try to devote an hour every day exclusively to God from now on - I did it this evening and the effects were just as good. I feel hopeful rather than despairing, and more able to trust him. Any normal person will realise how utterly impossible taking an hour a day out of a busy life seems, but I think it may actually be necessary, so I'm determined to manage it somehow. My feelings have been getting stronger, so the pain has been getting worse, and this is the only way I can fight back. Will see how it goes.